Comeuppance

Helen Thomas, perhaps the most noxious member of the White House press corps, gets a taste of her own medicine. Read all about it here.

Musician Humor

How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Put sheet music in front of him.

How do you get a guitarist evicted from his apartment? Get his girlfriend fired.

How do you get a guitarist out of your apartment? Run out of weed.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.

Killing Their Own

"The head of the Algerian mission Ali Belaroussi and the diplomat Azzedine Belkadi, whose government is ruling in violation of God's will, were killed," said the Internet statement by the terrorist group Al-Qaida in Iraq.

Story here.

Sidenote: Notice that they consider the Algerian government to be a "violation of God's will". Can anyone seriously claim that the aim of these people is not to establish a worldwide Islamic caliphate-nation, but to settle the Israeli-Palestinian dispute?

Spitzer Investigates Payola

Read all about it here. And wonder no more why pop music sucks so bad.

Don't Touch My Bone!

This dog not only won't let you go near his bone; he won't even let himself go near his own bone. Must see: Download donttouchmybone.wmv

(Shame on you for thinking this by-line was some kind of phallic reference! Get your minds out of the gutter!)

Gold Sparkle Gives A Great Buzz....

...But you probably should sneak it out before you use it. This fellow obviously skipped step one and went right onto step two....sniffing it.

I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation.

Hockey Is Back

But how much has been lost?

I'm a huge hockey fan, but I'm not sure hockey will ever recover its momentum. For one brief, shining moment, hockey had an opportunity to join the ranks of the other major sports in the States: baseball, basketball, football. The year was 1994, and the Rangers, killing off 54 years of futility in a dramatic, seventh game win, finally won the Stanley Cup. It was a momentous occasion, not just for the Rangers, but for the game itself. Think of it: the most high profile NHL team in hockey wins the Stanley Cup in the media capital of the world. You had one of the biggest marquee names in the game, Mark Messier, the captain. You had two high profile, telegenic Americans, Mike Richter and Brian Leetch. And you had Adam Graves, the epitome of heart and soul, less talented than ambitious, and Alexei Kovalev, the fleet, fast, highly-skilled, and more than little nasty. And what happened after the Rangers won the Stanley Cup? The league called a lock-out and delayed the next season for three months.

Last year, professional hockey didn't have half as good a season as they had in '94; the product was just not as good. But the league called for a lockout anyway. Die-hard fans like me will be back. But what of the casual fans, the sports fans that watch all sports, albeit in more of a shallow manner. Will they be back?

There are some positives, mind you. The elimination of the red line will open up the game; no more trap defenses and "dump and grind" hockey. I'm not sure I like the "no-touch" icing rule they're seeking to implement, but it will probably cut down on injuries. I'm not sure moving the net back two feet towards the boards is a good thing. But at least it will be a different game, a more wide open game. The product, in all likelihood, will be better. But what if no one is watching?

Worst Album Covers Ever

Too good not to share.

Get 'em right....here!

Quote Of The Day

"Some of the people tell you Islam is a religion of peace because they think that then you'll want to convert. But you cannot possibly say Islam is a religion of peace; jihad is not an internal struggle.

We can fight wherever, in Iraq, London, Paris, or Berlin. There is no such thing as innocents. The idea of the Islamic state is terror against anyone who doesn't support Islamic ideology."

- Khalid Kelly, British resident and follower of radical cleric Abu Osama

My question: Should we take him at face value?

Kennedy At Gitmo

Ted Kennedy and Daniel Akaka, a Democratic Senator from Hawaii, paid the troops at Guantanamo Bay a visit this past week. They didn't get a very nice reception. Read up.

No word yet on Dick Durbin's plans to visit.

Rice In Lebanon

Regular readers of this blog are well acquainted with my obsessive observation of what is going on in Lebanon. Well, I think that Condoleeza Rice's visit to Beirut gives the democratic movement a tremendous psychological boost.

Already, Rice's tenure at State is turning out to be a momentous one. While I consider Colin Powell to be a great American, I don't think he was a particularly good Sec. of State; he got hoodwinked by the French on UN Resolution 1441, and he couldn't sell the obvious violations to the UN Security Council as a legitimate casus belli, even though they were being haughtily violated by Saddam. But Rice has shown tremendous courage, not only in going to Beirut, but also to Darfur, Sudan, the scene of the worst ongoing genocide in the world (at the moment). Members of her entourage were roughed up while in Khartoum, which prompted Rice to get very pissed. Good stuff. It's refreshing to see a Sec. of State with some teeth, and Rice isn't afraid to show them. As a bonus, liberal reporter Andrea Mitchell got dragged out unceremoniously when she shouted a politically incorrect question to the Sudanese President Ahmad al-Bashir. As a result of this experience, perhaps Mitchell will tell some of her cocktail circuit reporter buddies that, yes, true evil does exist in the world, and no, it's not the Bush Administration. She might get excommunicated for that, mind, but there's always hope.

Dead Time

I'm about 40% of the way through Ron Chernow's epic biography on Alexander Hamilton. It has been a banner year for me in regards to reading. In the last eight months, I've been able to plow through a biography on Mozart written by Marcia Davenport in 1932 (which is, needless to say, out of print; my mother, a librarian, fished it out of a stack of books her library were in the process of disposing of. The mere act of disposing of any books must've caused her great consternation. But I digress...), His Excellency, George Washington by Joseph Ellis, John Adams by David McCullough, 1776 by David McCullough, Alexander Hamilton, American by Richard Brookhiser, and last but not least, Traveling Music, by my personal hero, Neil Peart. With the exception of the Brookhiser and Neil Peart book, almost all of these works clock in at approximately 700 pages, so I feel like I'm more than able to do some seriously heavy lifting, intellectually speaking.

Whilst it is true that the last five months have been ones of leisure for me, courtesy of a certain large financial institution's decision to give me an early retirement (ahem...), the reason for my fairly prodigious consumption of the printed word is because I've mastered the art of productive "dead time". What is "dead time"? Simple. It is the half an hour you wait for the subway to come, and the time that you're on the subway waiting for your stop. It is the time that you're waiting in the doctor or dentist office for your name to be called. It is the time in the waiting room of Mr. Goodwrench (muffler, $400). It is the time in Penn Station, waiting for your train to arrive so you can depart the dirty city. (An exercise I no longer have to endure, as per my departure from the Isle of Manhattan and the subsequent purchase of my first wholly owned motor vehicle.) It's being stuck on a trans-continental flight. And it is riding on a bus throughout Central America for hours on end on roads that make the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway seem blissfully smooth. That's "dead time". We're all afflicted with it, be it waiting in DMV, or taking a bus back from college. How we use that "dead time" is a pretty important question, because I'd surmise that most people either play games on their cell phone, listen to their IPod, or sit around ruminating about how sh*tty it is to be so bored for so long. I don't know how anyone else does it, but I find that reading is the all-purpose elixir to the elimination of boredom, and never do I read more than when I have no choice but to kill a half an hour, two, three, five, or seven hours. Granted, I don't read for hours on end without a break. But having a book, particularly a dense one, alleviates a tremendous amount of boredom and stress.

A former girlfriend of mine of dubious sanity used to call me just to loudly complain about her delays on the bus, train, etc. My first reaction when this started happening was that she obviously was incapable of living in New York City. My second reaction was to tell her not to call me anymore, and to read a book if she hated waiting for mass transit. After all, I was victimized by the crappy service of the MTA as much as she was. She didn't take my advice, so I fired her*.

She didn't use her "dead time" wisely.

*To the members of the fairer sex, be assured that there were much more extenuating circumstances to her departure than her poor use of "dead time". Please pardon any perceived undertones of chauvinism, for they were not intended to convey such.

Rivington Street

The next time you're on the Lower East Side and you go by or walk down this street, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you know for whom this street is named. James Rivington was one of the major Revolutionary-era publishers in New York, as well as a bookseller. His paper, The Royal Gazette, was vehemently anti-independence and pro-Tory, at least on the surface. His print press building was ruined in 1775 by a mob of independence advocates, but he rebuilt and kept on churning out his paper when the British occupied New York City from 1777 on. His publication was filled with contempt and invective for the cause of American independence. Post 1783, the first year of genuine independence, his paper, with its pro-Tory views, ceased to exist for lack of circulation. Rivington spent the rest of his days living at subsistence level. What wasn't known during the time that Rivington was publishing the Gazette was that Rivington was secretly using his status as an ardent Tory to glean important information about the manoeuvres of the British army and, specifically, their navy. He would communicate this information within the bookcovers of books he sold to undercover patriots. After the war, Washington, in New York for a farewell party his officers held for him at Faunces Tavern, paid Rivington a visit. Adjourning to a back room of Rivington's bookseller business, Washington secretly rewarded Rivington with several gold pieces. Rivington had stolen the British naval fleet's signal book and successfully communicated it to the Americans; this broken code contributed in no small part to the American victory at Y0rktown

Rivington died in 1802, his great role in helping the cause of independence unknown to the larger masses.

Operation COBRA

On July 25 of 1944, Allied ground forces under the command of Gen. Omar Bradley (who's quote regarding Gen. McArthur's stance on going to war with China over Korea was that it was "the wrong war, in the wrong place, at the wrong time" was pilfered by John Kerry last year...unattributed, might I add), bogged down in the countryside of Normandy, decided to end the slog with one big push. Bradley conceived of a "breakout" of Normandy, which would consist of using medium and heavy bombers, in concert with ground forces, to obliterate German resistance to the Allied advance once and for all. From June 4 to late July, Allied forces had been moving slow through Normandy, getting picked off at will by Germans who hid behind the massive hedgerows that ran parallel on both sides to a great many Normandy roads. The casualty rates were too high for the invasion to be successful, even after the initial landings in early June.

Employing heavy B-24s and B-17s, as well as medium B-26 bombers, Allied aircraft pounded the German line for days at a time. But a few things happened that didn't go according to plan: some bombers let their payload go too soon, and bombed the American lines. 100 GIs lost their lives to "friendly" bombing, 600 were injured. Lost in the bombing was Lt. Gen. Leslie McNair, the highest ranking officer in US history to ever lose his life to "friendly" fire.

Despite the losses, the bombing was successful, and American forces met diminished resistance going forward. The actions taken during Operation COBRA would be the reason behind the successful push to Paris, which was liberated in late August of 1944. Despite its success, Eisenhower was left bitter by the American casualties that the bombers inflicted, vowing never again to use heavy air bombardment in coordination with ground advancement in any future operations.

I bring up Operation COBRA for a couple of reasons. Pre-eminent British military historian John Keegan, through his research, has put casualty figures throughout ALL wars at or around 25%. Some have claimed that military casualties due to friendly fire run as high as 40% of all casualties inflicted. Whatever the number is, one salient truth holds firm: war is a dirty, deadly, and unpredictable business. Thucydides, whilst writing about the Peloponnesian Wars, once stated that, "...when a man comes face to face with his enemy, he rarely sees what he needs to see.." It was as true in 460 B.C. as it is today.

Much was made a few months back about the death of Pat Tillman, the professional football player who decided to foresake fame, fortune, and (relative) safety to join the US Army. That Tillman immediately advanced through the ranks to become a Ranger, one of the most elite units in the Army, was no surprise. Tillman subsequently lost his life in Afghanistan, the result of what has been designated as "friendly fire". Tillman's parents have been quite vocal in their anger over their contention that the military attempted to "whitewash" his death and make it appear more heroic than it really was. Understandably so. However, how he died, be it via enemy or friendly fire, is immaterial in the grand scheme of things. That he was in Afghanistan, with the Army Rangers....that was more than heroic enough.

Scotty Gets Beamed Up

James "Scotty" Doohan, of "Star Trek" fame, has left us. Had an interesting life story as well, including participating in the storming of Juno Beach with Canadian forces on D-Day. Other famous people that were at D-Day include Charles Durnan and Yogi Berra.

Bush's SCOTUS Pick

Well, Bush zagged when everyone thought he'd zig. Good for him. I don't know much about Judge John Roberts, but let's get one thing clear: Bush owes nothing to the Senate Democrats as far as who he decides to pick for SCOTUS. It's his presidential prerogative, as guaranteed by the Constitution of the United States, to choose who he feels is right for the position. The Democrats won't like it, but they're in no position to object; Bush won, Kerry lost, and to the victor go the spoils, amongst them the presidential right to pick the next Supreme Court justice. Additionally, if the Democratic minority in the Senate try to filibuster Roberts, they'll promptly have the filibuster taken away from them by the Republican Senate majority. Bush has all the cards. Not only that, but if the Democrats attempt to obstruct Roberts, they run the risk of appearing as bad faith actors.

Jokes About Liberals

Yeah...it's juvenile. But so damn what? They're funny, and they take the piss out of liberals. And to think that this guy writes for the Huffington Post!

A teaser:

How many islamic fundamentalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

ANSWER: Why do you think they would want light bulbs? This is what foments hate against the West.

A Few Observations....

• Recently I've been listening to K-Rock, and I've noticed that in the last six or seven times that I've tuned in, the Run DMC version of "Walk This Way" has been on the air. I have no idea why this is making the playlist in such a heavy way, or why the Aerosmith version of the song isn't. For a while K-Rock was playing a pretty large dollop of rap, but they seem to have reverted to a more "retro" playlist. I thought and continue to think that the rap version of "Walk This Way" is a fun piece of music, but I'm not convinced it beats the original.

• I've also noticed that a lot of "glam rock" from the late 80's/early 90's is starting to make it onto the K-Rock playlist. Ratt's "Round and Round", Motley Crue's "Dr. Feelgood"...you get the idea. I've never been a huge fan of this genre of rock, as I found it to be a bit "dumbed down" and kind of appealed to the lowest common denominator, but fifteen years hence, it is kind of refreshing to hear. I will say this about a number of those bands: they had musicianship. Though their lyrics were the epitome if idiotic ("She's my cherry pie/cool drink of water/such a sweet surprise/tastes so good/brings a tear to your eye/sweet cherry pie!!!"), they always seem to have a hot sh*t guitar player who could really burn it up. Guitar solos seem to have gone terribly out of style the last decade, brought on in no small measure by the grunge movement (particularly Nirvana, where Kurt Cobain couldn't play a burning solo if he tried) and other neo-punk acts like Green Day. Mind you, this isn't a dig on either band, both of whom kick (or in the case of Nirvana, kicked) ass. But a good, raucous guitar solo in today's music seems to be non-existent. I'm sure times will change and they'll be back in style, and hopefully some new players will exhibit some originality, as opposed to the "glam" players back in the late 80's who all seemed to be copping Edward Van Halen licks, but without half as much verve or pinache, great though they were.

• In a similar vein, there seems to be a great deal of cultural regurgitation going on these days. From the remake of "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" (renamed "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"), to the "Dukes of Hazzard" movie, to Broadway remakes of movies like "Steel Magnolias" and "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels", I'm starting to wonder if there is either a dearth of originality or whether it is that the venture capitalists of the entertainment industry are more apt to back a proven concept, as opposed to a fresh, original play or movie. Being a money man (or woman) in the entertainment industry, be it on Broadway or in Hollywood, is a pretty risky proposition, so it is understandable that the venture capitalists behind these projects would want to bank on something with already proven appeal. However, we the ticket buying public are going to have to get used to seeing the same things over and over again. Culture is feeding on itself...yuck.

Anyway...that's it for the random thoughts.

Spot The Idiot

The Rev. Jesse Jackson is asked on Hannity and Colmes whether the evil of terrorism can be fought by other than military means, and gives this reply: ''Well, you know, we found an end to slavery, which is evil, without killing the slave masters."

Rev. Jackson must've forgotten about the Civil War, or before that, the violent abolitionist movement throughout Kansas and other western territories in the 1850's that claimed the lives of many slave masters, vis-a-vis people like John Brown who...uh....murdered them.

In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon!"

Life....In A Nutshell

"Not getting killed is the key to a long-term, comprehensive benefits package!"

--A fireman friend of mine, who barely survived Tower 1 of the WTC falling on him